again & again

...& again & again.

i admit it. i was holding out a lot of hope. i thought we could make a difference, convince JYP/E to right their wrong. the kHottests have been amazing-- silent protests, walls of post-its, 15K paper roses, bank books, thousands of dollars of charity donations, boycotting Dream Concert-- and yet, nothing from the company was released to even acknowledge these fan acts besides ONE pithy statement that came too late and offered no concrete answers. and yet, JYP/E continues to offer no words, no assurances, nothing. i don't believe that the company has the best interests of their artist(s) at heart-- after all artists are just products/commodities to be monetized-- so while i don't take any solace in any of their words, some concrete direction would be appreciated.

if JYP/E has no intention of letting jay back in to 2PM, just say it. sure, they risk the wrath of Hottests but honestly? this wishy-washy/let's not say anything act is getting very old and very frustrating. i'm glad you "support" him, but how about supporting him in a proactive way? by not putting the gesture out there, offering jay's spot if he wants it, makes the company look very suspect...and honestly, makes it pretty obvious that there isn't a spot for jay in 2PM. how disappointing. what a waste of talent. he belongs on stage, with the other 6 members-- the 7 of them have created a unique bond and their magic will not be the same without jay.

truthfully, i actually feel really badly for the remaining 6 members. all of a sudden they see their LEADER forced out and they're just supposed to continue like nothing's happened? reports have surfaced that they're not even allowed to mention his name, like he's some kind of forbidden subject. after spending all of those hard years training with, living with, and loving each other, they're just supposed to leave jay behind because their company forces them? i'd bet that they're not even allowed to talk to him at all, which just...why is jay being treated like this? by people he had come to trust and love over the years?

and now, after 2 mysterious new album rumors but nothing concrete (wow, JYP/E, WHAT A SURPRISE!), all of a sudden, there's a beating heart with a countdown until november 2. fans are speculating up the wazoo about what will happen when that countdown ends...and as i wrote, i admit it, i had a lot of hope. maybe JYP/E was finally going to do something right! maybe jay will be back, or at least, maybe we'd see 7 silhouettes and 6PM would promote without him, but he'd be back!

however, i'm now all but convinced that JYP/E has absolutely zero intention of bringing him back, especially to 2PM, and i'm so upset about how unfair this whole situation is. i'm relatively certain that the countdown is a pre-cursor to the start of all 6PM activities and by the weekend of the 13th, i fear we'll see the jay-less 6PM promoting their new song on music shows.

i cried again today, and this is the second time i've shed tears over this boy and music group that i have no actual connection to. i'm simultaneously outraged, saddened, and confused about what happened to have the situation spiral so out of control, but i'm heading to the point of resignation. i support the boycott and will not purchase anything that does not include jay. sure, my money as an international fan doesn't mean much, but it's personal, and i'm holding myself to it. i feel terrible towards the other 6 boys who have to move on without jay, but just like jay, they're all fighters too, and we know that their bond with jay is irreplaceable and unbreakable (bsb shoutout!), no matter what ends up happening. i hope there's truly a rainbow at the end, and that jay ends up finding his happiness :) and most of all, i hope he can feel all the love that truly surrounds and envelops him.

i'm sure i'll be back on november 2nd with another 2PM entry. as you can tell, this has taken over my life. if 6PM is truly confirmed, as it looks VERY likely, then i feel that i will back slowly out of the fandom and i'm sure a new interest will slowly fill the void. i love 2PM as 7 and it's going to be difficult to see everything without jay. we'll see what happens on 11.2...

and if, in the end, jay comes back to 2PM and thanks JYP/E for all they did, then i will eat my words. i just think the likelihood of that is pretty slim to none.