what is this...

i'm going to write a longer entry later about everything i think and feel (oh boy, won't that be fun) but...what is this. what is the point of all of this deception, all of the possible cover-ups, and certain manipulation. yes, it's popularity, it's fame, it's money...but this. this isn't right.

elaborately created lies inevitably unravel and the truth is revealed. no one can get away with stuff forever.

reality check.

sometimes since i'm always enveloped in my own world, i forget about reality. i'm a daydreamer, i live in my own bubble, and i forget the way the world works. sometimes you need a reality check to remind you that you're not the only one.

twenty ten.

i'm starting to wonder if a higher being/universe/world is trying to teach me something in these early months of 2010. i feel like i'm truly learning to appreciate and understand the phrase "being happy for others." and not fake happy where you're secretly jealous and envious and wishing it was yours, but honest-to-goodness happy for others and for seeing them succeed, loving life, and anticipating the future.

for all the frustration and confusion i'm feeling now, it really has given me a great source of comfort to know that others around me are truly happy....i know there's a lesson hidden in here somewhere. just gotta try and find it.