TOO asian

i think i just found the worst non-candid photo ever taken of me! SIGH. wish i could just delete delete delete it, but it's not mine. :( however, if i ever needed convincing that i look hella asian with my new hair....yup. just got it!!

huh.

so while i am trying NOT to be a hater, i still can't shake that last bit that doesn't want jay to be the only one to get the short end of the stick in this whole situation. but slowly trying to move past it.

but wow, just stumbled upon some tweets that seriously just make me shake my head. how he is just an opportunistic guy, who sucks at everything and who is rapping about what he went through cause he's an attention whore. and how the other 6 haven't talked about it at all. and how they're so much better than him cause of it.

um. SERIOUSLY? the dude's not even allowed to sing/rap about what happened to him. in his own life?! he's done nothing but try to convince people to stop hating and this is the stuff that some people are swirling around in their minds. and no one knows what the 6 can or can't do, but their company is certainly milking jay for their own hype and purposes. hello? have you heard the lyrics that they gave 6PM for their new album? "You wanna see me fall right? (Haters!) Like a candle on a windy night, Yeah right. Just watch me do this, aight?" please tell me you can read that and not think it's directed to their former fans/antis. and that nice intro package that includes a group shot with jay in the center followed by the words "unbelievable...betrayal."

i just, honestly, can't believe that there are people that think like that. organisms?! i know i'm a huge fan with the crazy blinders on, but he has done nothing except show love and respect for his fans and his former members. and the same can't be said in the opposite direction. so why don't you just leave him alone and just focus on 6PM. he can do whatever he wants, he has absolutely no obligation to you/other fans who think like you. ugh. HATERS!

just venting

every day that passes just helps me solidify that what i am planning is right for myself. there's no reason that i should get so frustrated by one email, or so annoyed that i am getting an email at 10p at night that i seriously hope no one expects me to answer until monday. just so easily frustrated and at the same time apathetic about it. why the eff does it feel like the end is SO FAR AWAY.

living in the past

despite everything that's happened, i still believe that what they had pre-september was real. and even though i think there's a bigger plan for him and i can't look at the 6 the same, i still miss the 7 of them together. currently listening to this on repeat:

loose lips

hmm. apparently these walls...or err, cubicle dividers, have ears. and mouths.

not sure how to feel...