2PM.

so, my life (and my friends/family/coworkers ha!) for the past 4 weeks and 1 day has revolved around a specific time of the day, 2PM. the kpop bug hit me hard this past april, and i've been completely enraptured in the charms (oh, koreans, you love that word) of the 7 awesome guys who make up the group. there is something so unique, special, and ... awesome about them. their personalities are hysterical, they interact SO well with one another, and they all have the SPARK on stage that draws you in.

at the front of this group? their leader, jaebeom aka jay. the korean-american bboyin' rapper young'n (i'm getting so old when i'm crushing on idols who are definitely too young for me), who turns it ON once he hits the stage. he quickly became my favorite member and i lovelovelove how he always brings 110% to everything he does. passion, drive, and determination. humor, dorkiness, and protective of his boys. charisma, humility, and undeniable talent.

and then, a month ago, personal comments he wrote blew up and spread, and the fury and "outrage" from antis/netizens just kept getting bigger and bigger. and while fans were worried, we just were worried when this would die down and go away....and then he announced he was leaving. and fandom was thrown in to confusion.

a month later, and everyone is still just as confused and pained as day 1. the issue of him leaving isn't even at the forefront of people's minds, but more so about a movement to assure his spot back in the group should he wish to return. [a post for another day will talk about the korean fans' boycott, which i fully support.] back when i first saw their again & again performances, i don't think i could have ever guessed i would be so emotionally involved in this group and this "scandal." there's the part that empathizes SO much with his feelings of culture shock, and there's the part that thinks there is something larger at work that's preventing his return. every day is another day that i'm more confused. but now that i'm in it...i just can't walk away.

this past month has seriously felt much longer, and i feel like i'm living out a real-life kdrama. i'm just hoping that this is one with a happy ending :\