before his termination was official, i said that if it was announced he wasn't coming back, i'd probably walk away. i was about 50% in that though, because i've grown to (of course) love all 7 together and i definitely still followed 1:59 activities, even if the whole time i was trying to find the hints/signs for jay, etc.
now that it's actually here, i'm finding it easier than i thought to try and walk away, or at least, leave behind the crazy fan-girl spazzing. first off, i am "team kHottest." i don't really care if that makes me crazy or blind, but when the group's MOST devoted fans (fanclub staff, sasaengs, fansite admins) all turn away from 6PM, to me, that says a lot. there were so many more anti-boycott fans than pro-boycott fans present at the conference, and yet, all of the korean fanclubs that attended the conference turned away from 6PM afterwards.
many international fans have an incredible sense of superiority, but news flash, we don't know better than korean fans. we're happy when they get #1 on music shows. who makes them ACTUALLY get to #1? korean fans. we oogle all of the gifts idols get on their birthdays. who spends thousands of dollars to provide gifts, food, etc.? korean fans. so stop saying that we are equal to them, because we're not. we account for extremely little and we are an afterthought. jype happens to be a company that cares about international fan response but an international fandom will not sustain a korean group. 6PM needs the korean fan support and right now, they do not have (a lot) of it.
i listened to the conference audio and there was a whole chunk that i didn't understand. but i actually believe that what they were saying was what they were truly feeling-- when junho implores the fans to please listen, when junsu says that they are honestly telling the truth, i believe in their emotions. and i know the company is powerful, and they are rookies who have no voice and no power. but there's a way to say something and then there's a way to SELL it. and even if it was not of their own volition, i cannot look at the 6 of them the same way anymore, after hearing that they all agreed that jay "absolutely" can't come back and implied that he was "dirty."
what drew me (and many other fans) in to 2PM was their brotherhood and friendship. in fact, that's what kept me fighting all along. that ultimately, despite how they may have felt about the boycott, etc. all of them wanted to be reunited and move forward as 7. and the press conference shattered that image. and unfortunately, it can't be repaired. when jay first left, the fandom split into pro-boycott vs. anti-boycott. and now it's jay fans vs. 6/5PM fans. and that will never change.
i'm choosing to believe that their bond as 7, their bond before september 8th, was real and genuine. because otherwise it just hurts too much. i'm trying to just calmly walk away, but it's hard not to want something to happen to 6PM (regarding their popularity), if only for the selfish reason that i don't want only jay to receive the short end of the stick. but i know that's not healthy and it's not productive, and i really don't need the bad karma/juju in my life. so i guess i'll just hope for the best for ALL parties...and that jype finally gets its just desserts.
6PM, i hope you guys are able to win over your company in your end, and that whatever your choices were, were the right ones and the ones that you honestly believe in.
jay, i hope you're happy, with your family, friends, and crew. i know there will be something else out there for you-- too talented to have spent only 1 year in the spotlight, so i'll be waiting for your daebak comeback.
jype, what goes around, comes around. how far are you going to go to destroy one boy's life. it's a sad game. it's time to stop.
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